'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
