I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
