Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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