I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize