Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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