I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
