I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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