I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
