Don't make out with my wife yet
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize