I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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