what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
