He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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