my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I will be naked everywhere
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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