you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
