Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
