I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
