It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So many bounce houses so little time
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
