i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
