its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
