it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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