Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
