I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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