big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
