have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
