Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
