operation harelip BJ is a go
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
