Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
