OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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