if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
