Soap is not a condiment
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
