end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
