You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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