Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize