I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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