honey bunches of taint.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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