I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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