That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I look better un-naked...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
