So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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