i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
