You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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