If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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