Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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