How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
