i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
