i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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