Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
