Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize