you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We're not piercing ourselves today.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
