just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
