you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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