yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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