You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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