I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
