I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
