Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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