Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize