I'm lost and stupid without you.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
