I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
