U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
