He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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