I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
