ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
