I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
