How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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