Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize