Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize