drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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