Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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