A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
What a dumb baby whore.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
