Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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