I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize