no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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